SORRY = CLEAN WINDOWS

I just wanted to record something here. If you know me, you know I don't talk a lot about myself. I prefer to hear what others have to say :) But I kind of just wanted to 'journal.'

Anyway. So last night Kellen and I had a slight disagreement. The details aren't important. But it was one of those moments when you say something you know you'll regret later but feel like it will help get your point across if you chose stronger words so to speak. So Kellen went to bed a little upset and I stayed up to study for a test I have tomorrow.

I was quite content to go to bed without resolving anything. We had had similar disagreements before (stress...), and it seems like no matter how much we try to patch up the topic, it keeps lurking around. So I wasn't going to mess with it. I didn't have the energy.

As I lay down to go to sleep on the couch (not because of the disagreement :P - I often sleep on the couch when I have to stay up late or get up early, both so that I don't bother the boys in the bedroom [one-bedroom apartment, so Shade's crib is in with us] and because I am a very light sleeper - so when I am only going to get a few hours of sleep, I prefer to not get woken up constantly from feeling/hearing the boys moving around). Anyway, as I was saying - as I was drifting off into sweet dreamland, I had a very strong feeling (the Holy Ghost?) to go and apologize. At the moment, the whole "right/wrong" thing didn't matter. I just needed to go apologize. So I did. And can I say how beautiful it was? When I went into the bedroom, I didn't feel particularly at fault, but as I laid down next to him for that moment and heard myself say the words, I realized that I wasn't exactly innocent either. Apologizing was more important than any stupid pride I may have had.

"you can't really place blame
cuz blame is much too messy
some was bound to get on you
while you were trying to put it on me"
- Ani Difranco

Anyway. So this morning Kellen left before me and scraped ALL of my windows (even though half of them were defrosted before I had to leave :P). Oh the sweet rewards of a simple apology!