~ Our Story ~: BABY ELI!!!

Warning: This is a very long post! (I kind of just need to vent)

This pregnancy was easier than the others in some ways and harder than the others in some ways. The easier: I was still sick the entire time (threw up every day, constant nausea, no appetite), but I was able to eat a bigger variety of foods. Also, since I had been through it a couple times before, I was better at managing and ignoring my discomfort. And of course, I had switched jobs right around the time I became pregnant, so I didn't have to work as much as I had to when I was pregnant with Olive. Which was awesome because now onto the harder: Since Olive was still pretty young this time around, I wasn't able to get as much sleep as I was able to when it was just Shade and I. So even though I only worked 12-16 hours per week, it took a lot longer for me to recover from those midnight shifts. Also, my diabetes was worse, so I had to use more insulin and for a couple weeks there it was difficult to find the right dosages. And to add to that, I had hydramnios (too much amniotic fluid). So even though Eli measured 39 weeks at my 32 week ultrasound, my doctors refused to change the due date (Jan 1st) to a week earlier (like they had with Olive). Apparently, the amount of fluid has more to do with determining due dates than baby size does, although having more than the normal amount of fluid just makes it impossible to make any accurate guesses. If I would not have had the extra fluid, they could have changed the due date to Dec 25th which would have allowed them to do the c-section on Dec 18th (now they can only do c-sections up to one week early without a "valid" reason). I was so nervous I would end up with a 12 lb baby and a huge incision from hip to hip (which I told them more than once). I felt very strongly that this baby would be perfectly healthy by Dec 18th, that the real due date should have been Dec 25th. But they not only refused to change the due date, they also were not able to schedule a c-section until 2 days early (Dec 30th), instead of a week early (Dec 25th) because of the holidays, and because both of the doctors I could schedule with would be out of town until then. So I actually ended up going 5 days over what the real due date should have been, with gestational diabetes... I had actually contemplated in the beginning of telling the doctors that my last menstrual cycle was a week earlier than it actually was because I know that I am not a typical person who gets pregnant exactly 2 weeks afterwards... then I could have avoided this whole mess. I also never thought being born on specific day was that big of a deal. But apparently God had other plans since no amount of prayers, good deeds, herbs, exercise, lifting heavy things, etc, had any effect on me going into labor on my own. I suppose that's what I get for telling the truth about my due date...

So I made it to the 30th with no actual labor (only tons of false contractions). But genetically speaking, the women in my family tend not to go early. The 2 weeks leading up to that point were completely miserable. Eli was likely already close to 10 lbs (if not already) by the 18th, plus all the extra fluid in my abdomen. And by that last week, my hands and feet started swelling up also (something that had not happened with my other 2 pregnancies, but I wasn't forced to keep the baby in that long either). I started sleeping on the couch because I couldn't stand to sleep on soft surfaces because my body alignment and weight distribution were so off, it was painful to roll over, and my back and hips were constantly achy. My maternity clothes didn't even fit me anymore; I had a hard time dressing and getting around. I was pretty much useless as a caretaker to my kids, and cleaning took twice as long as usual. And all on top of still being sick, diabetic, constipated, and having bad heartburn (I literally went through 2-3 gallons of milk per week since that was the only thing that would stop the burning - sometimes I would just drink milk or eat a few graham crackers with it for a meal). And then it was Christmas during that time too. I was trying so hard to focus on the positives, but it was very difficult not to be depressed. Especially since I learned my dad was going to be moving to a facility in California right after New Year's (I had missed the last family get-togethers with him and my grandparents because I was too pregnant to fly) and it is now going to be more difficult to visit family. And of course Shade had time off school from the 20th to the 4th, and Kellen had time off work from the 24th to the 4th when they could have been home to help me while I was recovering from surgery (since we were not able to have any family fly out to help us out, both because of the holidays and because of my dad moving). Instead, I didn't even get home from the hospital until the afternoon of the 1st. So even though Kellen is able to work from home and such, he still can't do everything I need him to because he has to work. It would not even have been such a big deal, except Olive still needs a lot of attention, it's hard to bend over/sit to change her diapers (surprisingly you need stomach muscles to do that), and I really shouldn't even be picking up a 12 lb baby...

So I was already depressed/upset about having made it to the 30th. Not a good way to start the birth of my child. But at least this way we were able to plan ahead. The surgery was scheduled for 10 am and we were to check in at 8 am, so we were able to schedule an exact time to drop Shade and Olive off at a friend's house (thanks Dalton's!!!!!!!!!!!). I remember getting in the car after dropping off the kids and Kellen asked if I was ready. I was so exhausted at that point, it was hard to be excited or nervous. I just wanted it to be over with and hold baby Eli. I had not slept well the week before, and especially not the night before. I had been up since 5 am, and hadn't eaten or drunken anything since 1 am (I get more nauseated when I have an empty stomach). I had taken a zofran that morning, but still felt like I was going to vomit the entire time. But at least now the end was finally happening!

So we checked in, I got changed and hooked up to the fetal monitor and IVs (got poked 4 times), got 2 bags of fluid real quick, then 2 more, some compression leggings, some type of antacid to drink in case I threw up (which was disgusting), and then we just waited...and waited...and waited... All the doctors and residents who would be working on me came in to introduce themselves and do their checklists and have me sign consents and told me it looked like we should be able to start on time. Then the main OB resident came in (Dr. Winstead) and did the final ultrasound. Eli was head down and the Dr. measured 9 lbs, 13 oz, but said it could be off by a pound in either direction. Afterward I said - I just hope he's not off by 2 lbs...

Finally, at 10:20, they came in to get me. I walked down to the room (it was just down the hall), hopped up on the table, and got my spinal block anesthesia. If you have never had one before, those are awesome. Of course it hurts going in, but then the lower half of your body gets real warm and all the pain goes away, and you can't move. Then they got me on my back, put up the blue sheet in front of my face, put a warm towel around my head to help keep me from shivering/moving (although it really only made it harder to hear everything, and you are not supposed to move your arms, so I couldn't adjust it myself), prepped me with iodine, had Kellen come in (after putting on disposable scrub-type covers), and then started cutting me open... I never get very nervous up until this point...

Everything went pretty fast and very well. He was officially born at 10:45 am. I remember as soon as he was out, I was able to take a deep breath for the first time in months, it felt so awesome! He started crying immediately and Kellen started taking pictures. I laid there for a few minutes while they cleaned up Eli and they were pushing and pulling on my abdomen (you can still feel pressure with the anesthesia, just not pain), listening to the baby cry. I was so relieved that he was okay. One of my biggest fears was having him in my belly long enough to have something bad happen. Anyway, I kept trying to look over to the crib area where he was, but there were too many people in the way for me to be able to see him. Then they got him on the scale: 11 lbs, 10 oz!!! I honestly was not surprised. Everyone else seemed to be, though. My doctor said that was the biggest baby she had ever delivered, and the residents kept saying I had given birth to a toddler. My doctor even said to me "I told you he would be big." And I remember thinking, "no, I told you he would be big..." Finally, after several very long minutes, they were able to bring him over to me to see. I got to see his chubby little face and kiss those delicious cheeks! I finally got to meet this beautiful creature that had been hibernating inside me for the last 9 months!

Then they took him away to do tests and what not and my extreme exhaustion hit me really hard. I was having the hardest time keeping my eyes open while they were finishing putting me back together. But I remember thinking I didn't want to fall asleep. I wanted to go back to the recovery room and hold my baby! But that last part took quite awhile. I didn't make it to the recovery room until around noon. And when I got there, Eli was still in the nursery getting checked out. And apparently when I was in surgery, my heart rate (normally in the low 90's) had dropped down into the 40's and even dipped into the 30's a couple times (I later had an echocardiogram which was normal; showed my ejection fraction to be 60%). And when they checked, I was still bleeding quite a bit, so the doctor had to come in and scrape out the blood clots. But it was just the one time and it stopped, thank Heaven. They also started giving me water. I was so thirsty! I downed 2 cups of water very quickly. I don't remember water ever tasting so good! For that last month I was pregnant, drinking just plain water usually gave me heartburn. Unfortunately, I think I overdid it a bit, and threw it back up, but then I just kept on drinking. I couldn't help it, it was so delicious!

After an hour or so, I finally "stabilized" enough to be moved to my postpartum room. I puked a couple more times, got some different anti-nausea medication, and ordered myself some liquid foods. It was then that they brought me my baby and I got to hold him for the first time! What a little chub! He couldn't really open his eyes, his cheeks were so big. I remember feeling guilty that he was born so big, that it wasn't fair to him, and it wasn't fair to me. But here he was, adorable and healthy. And here I was, already recovering well from a pretty big surgery. So I couldn't really complain about the little things. The big things were taken care of.

That whole day, I was fighting extreme exhaustion. I would fall asleep every time I closed my eyes, but then someone would come in the room to ask me questions, have me sign paperwork, take my vital signs, check my incision, or just congratulate me. And of course the kids came to visit and meet their new brother (to be discussed in another post). That night, Kellen had to go home to stay with the other kids, so I asked the nurses if they could possibly take Eli to the nursery so I could get some uninterrupted sleep, but they told me there was no staff in the nursery. So I was up all night too, having to get out of bed and lift an almost 12 lb baby out of that tall crib thing after my surgery, trying to feed him with only colostrum every hour or so... I finally gave in and used formula a couple times just so he would sleep for more than just an hour so I could too. But the staff kept coming in to check on me, so that didn't work too well.

The next day was just a repeat of the afternoon/night before. Me fighting to stay awake to feed a baby, getting woken up every hour or two, and having to get in and out of that extremely uncomfortable bed. They finally unhooked my IV and catheter, and I was able to go for a walk around the halls. I was again amazed at how good I felt after this surgery. I was able to get by with only using Toradol (an extra-strength Motrin-type medication). It still hurt to get up, walk around, etc, but not as much as it could have. That night, they again did not have staff in the nursery, so again, it was just Eli and me. Happy New Year's! I think one of the nurses felt bad for me, so she offered to watch him out in the hall for me for a couple hours so I could get some sleep. 2.5 hours! The longest stretch I had had since being there! I remember thinking, the staff here are not doing anything for me that I couldn't be doing for myself. I just wanted to go home! At least then I would have a more comfortable sleeping surface and Eli wouldn't have to sleep in a crib thing so tall it was difficult for me to pick him up out of. So the next day (the 1st), when the doctors did their rounds, I asked if I could please go home. My pain was being controlled sufficiently, I was able to walk around, I had passed all the discharge tests for me to go home. The only thing we were waiting for was Eli's circumcision. So they did it that morning (around 9 am), and Kellen and the kids were able to take me home that afternoon. We finally made it home!!! Welcome to our family, baby Eli!!!

Pre-surgery, All ready to go